Greenade By Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go
That’s just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,

Had your eyes wide open,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don’t understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah,yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah,yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah,yeah)
You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won’t do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I’m numb
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you’re from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That’s just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don’t understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won’t do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you’re a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby…
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won’t do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

Train Song by Vashti Bunyan

Travelling north, travelling north to find you
Train wheels beating, the wind in my eyes
Don’t even know what I’ll say when find you
Call out your name love, dont be surprised

It’s so many miles and so long since I’ve met you
Don’t even know what I’ll find when I get to you
But suddenly now I know where I belong
It’s many hundred miles and it won’t be long

It wont be long
It wont be long
It wont be long

Nothing at all in my head to say to you
Only the beat of the train I’m on
Nothing I’ve learnt all my life on the way to you
Only our love that’s over and gone

It’s so many miles and so long since I’ve met you
Don’t even know what I’ll find when I get to you
But suddenly now I know where I belong
It’s many hundred miles and it won’t be long

It wont be long
It wont be long
It wont be long

The Idea of Death

Sometimes, I thinks about death, well..not in a bad way. I mean in my perspective  , it’s the same things like I’m thinking about life , about love , about hate , about foods , it’s just the concept or the idea and nothing more.

My friend told me that it’s a horrible things to think about death, but i think is the other way around, it would be ridiculous not to think about it when you were alive.

I mean the only time you could think about death , it’s when you were still alive, right ??? i don’t think when we were dead , we would thinks about it anymore , since we already there… what’s the point.

Death is an accessory of life , just like life is an attachment to death. The ideal truth is that you could not have one without the sequential or pre-sequential of the other ,

It’s true that Life is being introduce to us first, that’s why we are fond of it.. or un-fond of  it.

And Death is being introduce to us last, due to one way policy i guess , I mean there is no reverse cycle on this atleast not that i knew of .

So what is the idea of death ?

The end of  life ? The green reaper stuff? Final destination ? The bridge to another world ?

Or maybe just a big blank spot that could not be answer by any living people , atleast for now.

All that i knew that  as people , we are sometimes  curious , we are sometimes  afraid ,  and sometimes we  just doesn’t really care of it.

My New Office

Akhirnya setelah perang batin yang agak lama, saya memutuskan untuk stay di Jakarta dan tidak kembali lagi ke Mexico.

Pulang ke Indonesia, ambil posisi di Jakarta, lumayan jauh juga dari ortu , tapi paling tidak bisa pulang sekali – kali kalau lagi kangen , cari tiket pesaawat murah dan uda deh cuma 45 menit nyampe semarang

Yang paling dikangenin soal Indonesia tentu saja makanannya , ampe ngimpi -ngimpi hi hi hi

Beruntunglah saya, tidak sempat merasakan masa – masa iddle alias jobless, saat pulang sudah dapat posisi aman alias permanen sebagai konsultan di salah satu perusahaan di Jakarta.

Ngomong – ngomong soal kantor baru, berhubung lagi masa -masa honeymoon, segalanya masih terlihat indah di mata saya.

Temen-temennya oke, challenge worknya juga oke , gaji standard lah yah ( ga jelek untuk ukuran jakarta ), cuma gedung kantornya aja yang agak tua

Yang paling penting disini saya bisa berhenti sebentar dan take as much as time that i need , untuk  berpikir , menyamakan ritme hati dan pikiran, planning my future , after this what is next ?

Going Home ??

Tinggal sebulan lagi nyampe di Indonesia, home atlast, tapi hati koq ga tenang yah,  ada beban berat yang harus segera diputuskan sebelum pulang. Apakah aku akan pulang dan tidak kembali lagi???

Apakah ini keputusan yang benar?

Could you tell me , where is TAR – TAR ????

When i were  14 years old  , i read this book that tell a story about a place calls  “Tar – Tar”.

The places located somewhere in the middle of the Asian ‘s desert ,when night comes it freeze like hell and during the day the sun just shine like a fire.

It’s just unpleasant and totally chaotic, that sadly just  like many  “real” places in this world.

But in  “Tar-Tar” there is hope,  and hope is what make the story start and ends.

Hope of a man that try  to  find his dream ,  Hope of a woman to search her soul,

They meet and the hope merge and collapse and yet,  even the old hope totally destroyed , a new seeds of hope emerge.

Could you tell me , where is TAR – TAR ?  Because if you don’t , you can always create a new one.

* The image taken from deviantart

Insomnia

Lately i have trouble  to sleep. Is not that i can’t sleep at all. But while lying down , i’m trap in such a state.

The state that my brain still  fully aware of my surrounding environment , means i’m not sleep yet, but also too lazy to  get up because my body absolutely tired ,

So I keep closing my eyes, hopefully tired enough to just subconsciously  sleep. Manage to do so in a while, but keep getting up every 15 – 30 minutes , all the suddenly it’s morning already.

When I  get down from my bed, in the morning , my body still so tired , my eyes still so fuzzy and my mind still disoriented. It likes i never sleep at all.

Dear Life…

Dear Life,

As I walk slowly, roaming in  the wheel of time, the crystal of hope starts to falling apart.

I paused , and I look back, to see the bitter sweet past behind my back.

Strangely but happily i find no remorse and no regret…no will to coming back.

As  I sink under the burden of time , the sweet memories emerge and stranded me  away.

It gaves me the sweetest sensation about you Life, so untrue , so unreal , so un-you.

Socialize Hurts

Socialize Hurts , it Hurts ..it Hurts …it Hurts!!!

God I hate it so much. Meeting new people is killing me. Pretend that i’m interesting what they think, what they do , what they said …please… I don’t even know you ( How can i  be  interesting in things you do..if  I DON’T KNOW  WHO THE HELL ARE YOU !!!!)

But nothing beats of the psychological painfully in socialize with an acquaintance . You know an acquaintance, someone that you basically meets ( once in a while )  just because you happen to be in the same neighborhood , or work environment or school habituation..whatever. But all u know about him or her is their names ( and sometimes you even forgot about this ),

And suddenly , BOommm , there they are , speaks to  you like an old friend , and the only things that cross in your mind is Oh My GOd ..OhMY God .. what is this freaking person name.

But sometimes, if you get lucky, i mean really lucky , this excruciating painfull process will get you a friend that eventually become your best friends and maybe more …, he or she will be there comforting you for your  next  new painfully episode of socialize gathering.

The image taken from : gkwan

Lunacrazy

September 11, 2010

As i gazed to the empty night, recording all the things that have pass by recently.

It occurred to me that there is some news and some  bullshit  that i like to share on my blog.

One : My friends is finally going to get married before the end of this year.

Two: I’m finally going to go home, three months from now.

Three: There is a big probability that the world going to end soon.

Four: I’m still freaking-ly don’t know  what im going to do a year from now.

Five : I still believe that soul mate does exist , and hopefully before the world end , I’m going to find one.

Six: I’m getting more bitter and bitter everyday,

Seven: Is it possible for someone to just evaporate and disappear ?

Eight: It’s 2 AM in the morning, I’m tired , sleepy , and even tough  i know is not healthy to write a blog in this condition , I ‘m still writing it.

Nine: ……..

Ten : It’s doesn’t matter anymore.